THE UNIVERSE ACCORDING
TO BILLY BUBBLEGUM
NO ES ORO TODO LO QUE RELUCE
(ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT GLITTERS)
by Billy Bubblegum
No es oro todo lo que reluce,
Not even the egg laid by the magic goosey,
Not even owning the rerun rights to I LOVE LUCY
Quit worrying about money and relax in your Jacuzzi!
From the real (Dec 31, 2000 - > Jan 1, 2001) Y2K COLLECTION
CRICKETS*
by Billy Bubblegum '99
Crickets are black with a coat of shellac
that makes them shiny it's true.
The male in the dark lurks,
creates bothersome chirps
every night, all the night through.
The reason he rubs,
'til his knees are raw nubs
is to attract a female or two.
But although she know it,
she hides in the closet
with your favorite shirt for a chew.
* A Copyrighted poem, may be reproduce in part or whole by paying a fee of $10,000 per word. Every word is copyrighted; do not use any word alone or in combination without paying your fee. If the FBI hears you say "Cricket" without you having paid your fee, you will be arrested. Send fees to Audenreed Press, Brunswick, ME - (DO NOT MAKE CHECK PAYABLE TO SANDY Z. - he is a suspected money launderer / money squanderer / wanderer**)
** For complete information on Sandy Z. AKA Sandy Koufax contact:
FBI, Washington, DC
Walter Alston, Wbbetts Field
Phil who hangs out in front of the IN & OUT GROCERY, Bangor,ME
Some Answers from Billy for the Gen-X-ers
Q –
What happened to all the oil?
A --
What oil? You mean like salad dressing?
Q –
Why didn’t y’all clean up your own waste?
A –
Too busy, we had to work hard all day, no computers.
Q – Is
the ocean radioactive?
A –
Why, you want to swim or something? Build a pool.
Q –
Why did y’all strip mine half the country?
A –
Ran outta time before we could strip it all.
Q –
Why are there roads and malls built all over this fertile firm?
A – So the animals can find their way to NY
City.
Q –
Where are the animals?
A – I
told you, in NY City, In the Zoo!
Love ya,
Be Good,
Write soon,
Billy
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