Illustrations are pencil and color pencil

It was a warm, happy Saturday. But, Amy was gloomy. Amy had a secret ^_ her mom was in prison. She had been there more than a year.

Amy visited her mom once a month on Saturday or Sunday.  She liked to see her mom, but she liked to play with her friends on the weekends. It was a long ride to the prison and a visit took all day. Sometimes Amy just didn't want to go see her mom. She wanted to stay home and play. But when she didn't go, she'd feel like she disappointed her mom. That would make Amy sad.

Since her mom was in prison, Amy had to live with her grandparents. Amy was mad at her mom for not being home with her and sad because she missed her. She was very sad. Sometimes she would cry. Her grandparents would hug her and say, "Don't cry, Amy." No one wanted Amy to cry. Sometimes she had so many bad feelings inside that she was afraid that if she started crying, she would never be able to stop.

Amy loved her mom very much. She missed the fun times they had playing and singing together. She missed seeing her mom each day after school and when she went to bed each night. Amy's mom was the best! Amy missed her very much.

Amy felt alone. She felt guilty for being mad at her mom. She loved her mom, but she had a lot of bad feelings inside. She didn't know what to do with them. She was afraid to talk to any of her close friends about her mom because she thought they might stop liking her if they knew her mom was in prison.

Sometimes when her friends or teachers asked Amy why she lived with her grandparents or where her mother was, Amy would make up a story about her mom being sick or in college. Amy didn't like to lie, but she was embarrassed. Being embarrassed made her feel guilty too.

Somehow Amy’s secret got out. Some of the children started making fun of Amy. They yelled, "Amy's mama's in prison." It hurt Amy's feelings and made her want to cry. But if she cried, they would call her a baby. So she didn't cry. Instead, she got mad. 

The group of boys and girls kept making fun of Amy. They teased her and she hit one of the boys and called the other children nasty names.

Amy got in trouble at school for how she had behaved. Then she got in more trouble at home when her grandparents found out. 

She was MAD! She was mad at them and at her mom. On days like this Amy wished she could just quit school.

One day Amy saw a TV show about prison. The prisoners were big and mean. They did bad things on TV. Amy was scared and worried about her mom. When she visited her mom in prison, it wasn't like the TV show. But still, Amy was worried that bad things were happening to her mom.

One day during a visit at the prison, Amy's mom asked her, "Amy, how do you feel about me being in prison? How do you feel about me not being home with you?"

Amy didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell her that she hated her for being gone. She wanted to tell her that she was mad at her and that at the same time she loved her and missed her. She wanted to tell her that if she would just come home everything would be better. But Amy was afraid her mom would be angry with her if she told her how she really felt. So, instead, Amy just said, "I don't know." It was easier not to talk about it. It didn't hurt so bad.

Amy's mom said, "Let me tell you how I feel. I am upset and frightened. I worry about you all the time and I think about you every day. I'm mad at myself for breaking the law and being sent to prison.

"Amy, it hurts me to know you don’t have your mom at home with you. I miss being around you. I'm lonely because I'm not with you. I am ashamed of being in prison. I feel guilty for having to leave you. Sometimes it hurts so bad I just cry."

Amy didn't know her mom had all those bad feelings too. She listened as her mom went on.

"Do you know what else, Amy?"

"What?" Amy said, her voice cracking.

"If it were my mom in prison, I'd be mad at her."

"I am mad at you!" Amy yelled. "I am mad because you left me! You meant to break the law so you could go to prison to be away from me!"

Amy's mom began to cry. It upset her to see Amy upset.

"Don't cry," Amy screamed.

As she burst into tears, Amy said, "You're going to make me cry!"

All the bad feelings Amy had held inside were pouring out in her tears. Her mom hugged her and held her close. It felt good to both of them – the hugging and the crying.

"Amy," her mom said, "It is okay to be mad. It is normal, sweetheart. I would be mad too if my mom was in prison. I don't like being away from you. I miss you so much. I am mad at myself! I cry a lot because it helps me get the bad feelings out.

"I did not come to prison to get away from you. I was sent to prison because I broke the law. I didn't follow the rules. Prison is my punishment, like 'time-out' for adults."

Amy was glad to hear that her mom missed her and that her mom cried too. She was relieved that her mom didn't get angry at her for telling the truth about how she felt. It felt good for Amy to be able to tell her mom that she was mad.

Amy's mom went on, "Amy, when you get sick with a bad cold, the only way you can get better is by coughing up the bad stuff - even when it hurts to cough. When you get sick on the inside with bad feelings, the only way you can get better is by getting the bad stuff out - even if it hurts. You have to cry it out and talk it out. That is how you get the bad feelings out. You can always talk to me. You can always tell me how you feel and what you think. I love you, honey. Nothing will ever change that."

Amy and her mom visited the rest of the day. They talked about how they felt. They laughed and cried. When the visit was over, they felt a little better. They had gotten some of the bad stuff out.